


Eyes on me

by astralprojects



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/F, Hurt, Idiots, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, no beta we die like men, surprise! i ship morons together a third time, very dumb people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:01:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24392485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralprojects/pseuds/astralprojects
Summary: Rinko stared longingly at Himari as she admired the prince forever in her sights, silently wishing that Himari would look at her too sometimes.She glanced elsewhere right as Himari's gaze fell upon her in the way it always did.
Relationships: Shirokane Rinko/Uehara Himari
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Eyes on me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MocaAobaLovemail](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MocaAobaLovemail/gifts).



> Based off of a Himarinko thought by Mocaaobalovemails on Tumblr!
> 
> Thank you so much for coming up with great ideas so I don't have to.

Up until now, Rinko took joy in being a background fixture.

She was comfortable that way, satisfied with how the game board played out each time without the slightest chance of going out of turn. Predictability equalled stability, and Rinko found assurance in that. Events happened, turns were taken, perhaps an exciting move would be thrown, but the result was always the same for her whilst others had their ending remain volatile.

That, in its own right, was relieving even if it was often confining.

But nothing in her humble way of life could have prepared her for a change of heart as unprecedented as this.

Kaoru Seta was a loose acquaintance of hers. She quite enjoyed their varying personalities and outlooks as they toiled away at a school play together: once she stopped being overwhelmed by her intensity, that is. The two, albeit somewhat friendly, didn't interact often, yet Rinko knew everything there was to know about the other.

The source of her knowledge? Himari Uehara, of whom had her focus eternally directed to one other and one other only.

Rinko couldn't call herself that one other. She had been bested long before she entered the fight.

Resigning herself to being a background figure again had so much more reluctance, the simple will not to go through with the usual procedure, when her… Predilection with Himari was involved. And on days like these, Rinko couldn't pressure herself to stop resisting.

"Kaoru-senpai looks so handsome in this photoshoot!" Himari exclaimed, a dream-like sigh escaping her as she cupped her face with both hands. "She's so cool…"

Rinko's gaze at the distracted girl only had a sliver of affection within it to prove that it was ever there to begin with. It seemed tired, in a sense; more defeated and saddened than anything.

Watching Himari drift off into a galaxy of her thoughts, Rinko chose not to say anything. She listened even if it was something she didn't entirely want to hear right then, but at least there would be something within her ramblings to look forward to - Himari's passion had always been captivating to her, regardless of what it was directed towards.

"Oh! Wait, Rinko-san?"

"Y-Yes, Uehara-san?"

Himari leant into the table a little more, switching her attention to Rinko.

"Do you have anyone you like?"

Rinko flushed within a second; she had never reacted well to being caught off-guard like that. While she knew how Himari adored discussing topics like this, it didn't make her immune to them seeing as Himari was also the "subject of her affections", as Kaoru would put it.

"U-Um…" Rinko darted her line of sight anywhere but at Himari, afraid of what she'd say in response to that question if she was staring the answer in the eye. "Not… Really, no…"

Himari pouted at that, moaning loudly and slouching in her chair. "Aw, really?"

"U-Uh…"

Rinko was interrupted by Himari's further complaints: she seemed to be getting more disappointed as each fraction of a second withered away.

"That sucks," she mumbled. "I really wanted you to as well! And if you don't have one now, then you'll never have a crush on m— Kaoru-senpai! Kaoru-senpai."

Rinko tilted her head to the side in confusion, narrowly missing how Himari stumbled on her words. "Why would I need a crush on Seta-san…?"

"B-Because, uh…" Her eyebrows furrowed in deep thought as Himari searched hard for some plausible reason to save her from shame, unbeknownst to Rinko. "Well… She's so cool that she deserves a thousand crushes on her! Yeah."

"I think… You could make up for a thousand crushes… On your own, Uehara-san," Rinko teased ostensibly. "Plus, Seta-san… Isn't for me, I don't think…"

"Oh, that's good!" Himari brightened up. "So, who is the one for you then?"

It would've been so easy to answer with one telling word right there and then, but Rinko didn't want to jeopardize their relationship by being honest with this one.

"I… Don't know yet…"

If she were to be earnest, how would Himari respond?

"Uehara-san, do you think that…" There had never been a time less appropriate to walk straight into a bullet, but Rinko's curiosity won out and made her do so nonetheless. "Well… Do you think that Seta-san is… What you're thinking of… For yourself?"

Himari lit up, presumably feasting her imagination on the opportunity to rant about her fantasies. Rinko braced for impact.

"Hm, nope!"

The impact never came.

"W-What?" Rinko spluttered, genuinely stunned. "B-But, Uehara-san… I thought that…!"

"I mean," Himari chewed on the end of her milkshake straw in thought. Rinko had completely forgotten they had ordered those. "Like, she's hot, yeah, absolutely! But… I just can't imagine myself spending the rest of my life with her, y'know?"

Her legs swung back and forth in a familiar rhythm, barely avoiding a collision with the bottom of their table. 

"If you asked me a year or two ago, I totally would've said that I could've, sure!" Himari beamed. "But I didn't know everyone in the other bands a year or two ago."

If Rinko had understood that right, then Himari's perspective had been changed by interacting with other band members outside of her own. For someone like Himari, that was a drastic change; Rinko assumed it was brought on by another crush - the notion both panicked and excited her, the latter emotion only occurring with the idea that it could be her.

That idea seemed too hopeful, though, and Rinko strayed away from things that had a high chance of letting her down, preferring to stay away from disappointment in place of being able to dream.

So Rinko decided not to ask if that was the case, and ignored the cries of the turnouts she would've liked to have seen.

"Hm, it's kind of nice to get outside of just fangirl crushes, y'know?" Himari wondered aloud. "Like, I'm super dedicated to Kaoru-senpai and all, but this feeling feels more… Concrete. Especially since it hasn't really gone anywhere in months, haha…"

Himari sucked up a large portion of her milkshake, drowning out Rinko's unasked yet burning questions.

"But that's not the point!" Her head cocked to the right as a finger came to rest inquisitively under her chin. "Wait, what was the point again?"

"Uehara-san… I'm glad."

"Hm?" Himari looked up, startled by the certainty in her voice. "About what?"

"I don't know what you were talking about earlier… With your view changing when you met… The other bands and all, but…"

Himari frowned disapprovingly at that, almost as if there was something important Rinko was missing among her words.

"I'm happy… That you enjoy looking at Seta-san…"

Rinko was satisfied with being a background fixture, even if it meant she had the best view of her desires when they would inevitably crumble right before her.

"Yeah…" Himari sighed in an empty way, kicking back in her seat and pushing the drained cup forward. "I… Hope you find who you're looking for too, Rinko-san. You deserve it."

"Thank you, Uehara-san."

It was okay. She had to keep promising herself that.

Maybe the reason why Rinko never achieved a fairytale happy ending wasn't because she wasn't fated for them, but because she was afraid to search for one. But what if she took the leap once? What if there was no-one waiting for her on the other side? What would become of her restrictive sanctuary then, when it was too late to turn back?

A forlorn smile played out on her lips. That couldn't be it. Her gaze was always fixed on Himari, and always would be. Himari's gaze, meanwhile, would never leave its destined place on Kaoru, or perhaps on someone else from time to time. Wherever it went, it wouldn't find her.

Rinko glanced down into her drink, whisking around a soaked paper straw and evading Himari's outstretched passion like she always did, unknowing.

She never liked meeting Himari's eye, even if she entertained and fantasised about the possibility. Rinko avoided it partly out of nerves, but mostly out of the fear that she would fall deeper than she could escape from.

Believing it was better to look elsewhere than look Himari in the eye as if it were a sacred ritual by this point, Rinko never saw where Himari's gaze truly landed.

She never noticed how Himari hadn't once liked to look away from her.


End file.
